May God guide your sons soul to attain the right path. If there is no relationship with the family, introduce yourself and briefly explain your relationship with the deceased. During the ceremony, the last food is offered and flowers are arranged around the body. By merely being there, listening and taking care of the details, you'll undoubtedly be a great help to her during this sad time. or the universal soul. Also, there may be a Hindu funeral ceremony called shraddha that usually takes place after 10 days from the death. Such decisions are often based upon the circumstances of the family and the level of their commitment to the traditions of Hinduism. 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At a Hindu funeral, the deceased body is kept in an open casket. You have a great responsibility now. eCondolence.com, LLC | Copyright 2023. After that, the body has to be cremated. Before the funeral, Catholics hold the Vigil (Wake). For instance, the death of a teenager is perceived differently from that of a 90-year-old. advice. It is customary and appropriate to visit the family at home, especially during the days following the funeral. People should wear white and not black. Viewing the body is not mandatory, but is usually considered respectful if the casket is open and displayed near the family. It is unborn, eternal, permanent, and primeval. Unfortunately, while social topics like table manners get discussed at home or at school, most of us have not received any formal training on this sombre topic. Not attending religious functions or celebrations. 2. The family would have got over the immediate grief and anger by then, and will be receptive to conversation. Friends may call or visit family members of the deceased to offer their condolences upon hearing of the death and may bring flowers to them at that time. Visiting in person and/or attending one or more of the traditions and rituals the visitation, wake, or shiva, the funeral or memorial service, and the burial or final resting service can be appropriate and will be appreciated by the mourning family. The best thing is to work things through at your own pace. Often, the best thing one can do is to listen patiently without interrupting. If there is a line waiting to see the family, keep your thoughts and comments brief. Some people have the knack for amplifying or worsening the existing sorrow by dropping pessimistic remarks such as Ohshe was so young, she had her whole life ahead of her!, How sad it is for her children! When in doubt, silence is the best option. Sit down at your desk as soon as you hear of the death and let your thoughts be with your coworker as you write to her. Because people will be standing, it is customary to keep the ceremony brief. Post Funeral. Those can include: During these thirteen days, the family and friends of the deceased are given the freedom to express their grief rather than keep it bottled up inside. Send hand-selected and thoughtful gifts appropriate for those of the Hindu faith to let them know you care. The body of the deceased should be released as quickly as possible to enable the family to prepare for the funeral. There is often an emphasis on white flowers. Are you sure he is dead?, You are lucky you have one other child who is alive!, I used to tell her to eat less and exercise more often. However, you may send or bring flowers ahead of time. There is an intense period of mourning immediately following the cremation or burial service which lasts thirteen days. In Hinduism, it is not uncommon for someone to formulate their unique way of practicing their faith. Food will be served following the ceremony. Just as It is all part of Gods plan might not go down well with an atheist, He will soon be reborn into a more beautiful life can be hugely offending to someone who doesnt believe in rebirth. When writing sympathy cards for Hindu loved ones, geography plays a vital role. Generally, only people who are particularly invited to the shraddha ceremony will attend. Visitors must realize that none of these questions would bring the person back; there is no second chance in death. 4. What to Send: Sympathy flowers and sympathy cards are appropriate Hindu funeral rites Hindu funeral service: Traditionally, the body remains at the home of the deceased or in a funeral parlor until it is cremated, which is usually within 24 hours after death. Thats why cremation is preferred. Some traditions will not allow for a wedding to take place during the year. Seeing other friends and family members at the service may prompt conversations and shared stories about the deceased, lengthening the time of the visit. The funeral directors will take the body for bathing, dressing and anointing with the permission and in the presence of chosen friends and relatives before the funeral rites take place. Grief is Complex, Etiquette Can Help Keep it Simple. Hindu mourning rituals will vary according to the sect, caste, circumstances of the family and a variety of other elements. Dr. Vasudha Narayanan, Professor of Religion at the University of Florida and. In such situations too, it is helpful to remember that no hospital would knowingly do anything that could harm the patient. Unless we actively keep our phones in silent mode, a loud and abrupt musical ringtone tearing through the silence can be quite unsettling during the visit. 3. Twitter. This link will open in a new window. Hindu funerals usually take place within 24 hours of death. Everything will be fine is another pass phrase where both the speaker and listener know its a lie. Others go the extra mile and debate whether the person might actually make it to heaven or settle for hell. According to my calculations based on astrology, he could not have chosen a better time to die is another example of saying the wrong thing in the wrong place at the wrong time. Your are already subscribed for Malayala Manorama News Letter/Alert. If unsure, the best thing to do is stick to something straightforward. Ask the person who will be officiating at the service for any tips on preparing and delivering a eulogy. Shell never be forgotten. It is specifically meant for those who are contemplating visiting a recently bereaved family. It is also important to listen keenlythat is, without looking at our watches in between, fidgeting with our fingers or letting our eyes wander. As absurd as it might seem, in todays fast-paced world, there are instances of people placing wreaths on the wrong coffin, and even consoling strangers after mistaking them for immediate family. It is customary to make a brief visit and spend a few moments in private prayer and then to visit with the family members. Are you sure you want to Unsubscribe from Malayala Manorama News letter/ Alert. Some Indian-Americans journey all the way back to India to immerse the ashes in the Ganges or visit many pilgrimage sites to seek blessings for the departed soul and solace for their own pain. A place to share knowledge and better understand the world. We have the perfect wedding, graduation or housewarming gift for someone special in your life. Hindu death rituals involve chanting of certain mantras, which are written especially to be chanted at funerals. "Would you like to have lunch with me next Tuesday?" 9. Unexpected death, especially of the violent type can result in an emotionally supercharged situation, requiring us to tread very carefully to avoid offending anyone. People sometimes blurt out statements in the hope of comforting the grieving, but achieve exactly the opposite. 13. And then it is appropriate to briefly visit the bereaved family at home at the end of the day. At Hindu funerals, mourners should not wear anything black. Such tasks can include arranging for the ambulance, delivering food, cleaning the house, doing the shopping, taking care of paperwork, keeping smaller children occupied and assisting with funeral arrangements. Choose from trainer trainings, seminars, live-online workshops, and self-paced online courses, to best meet your etiquette training needs. In an attempt to get noticed by everyone, some folks have a tendency to be loud and overdo their visit. Please navigate to the relevant forum to create a new thread or post a reply. You can see he wanted his family to live well for many generations. Chances are youll know this about your friends familial history enough to gauge an appropriate message based on his upbringing. Since it is such a singular honor, one shouldn't refuse an invitation to be a pallbearer except for illness or absence from the location in which the funeral is being held. There, husbands and wives increasingly share household roles as dual-earners. LinkedIn. 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Hare Krishna. Every one of the rituals within the Hindu ceremonies is a reality check to help us confront our grief, interact with it, accept it and keep going on--both in life and spiritually.". Neha Kakkar, Rohanpreet's honeymoon at Atlantis Dubai costs Rs 90,000 a night? Household items like decorative rugs, afghans and blankets make appropriate gifts to honor the memory of the loved one. Notes of condolence should be acknowledged with a handwritten note. After a person succumbs to illnesses such as cancer, some visitors make public assertions about magical cures that have no scientific validity, claiming that the person could have been alive through such means. Letting the bereaved know that you are thinking of him or her and that you care can mean a lot. Often there will be some open visitation for an hour or so just prior to the funeral service. Are you afraid of Sivasankar, court asks Customs; allows five-day custody, Chennai roads inundated as cyclone Nivar triggers intermittent rain, These Kashmiri families are eager to vote in Kerala local body polls, Wanted! Making a phone call or a visit can mean a lot during such times. If you wonder what Hindu funeral traditions are like, they can be different from traditional American funerals, but the core fundamentals remain the same. I am sorry for your loss. However, the following brief and simple condolences will let the grieving family know you care: We are sober, we are really sad about his sudden departure, May the Creator accept our prayers on his behalf. Rather than quoting the Bhagavad Gita directly, you can also take its essence and interpret that into something meaningful. Hindus believe cremation is the fastest way for aiding the soul to escape the body. During this time, some of the traditions will limit or restrict participation in festivals and events, as well as discourage making life-altering decisions like changing jobs or moving. However, mourners should check with the family or the funeral director to find out what's appropriate for the funeral they are attending. Avoid the eating of certain foods, like sweets. forms. This short message gets to the essence of the Hindu faith in just a few short words. What rituals take place before someone dies? Unlike some religions, youll also find that Hindus mourn for 13 days, which can also determine what you should and should not write. A notice would either state the hour and location of the service, which would mean that it would be appropriate for you to attend if you wished, or it would indicate if the service is private. (2020). In either case, develop a list of questions that your friend will need to answer. The grieving family may be visited by many wishing to express their sympathies and the time any individual can spend with them may be quite limited. Serve his or her favorite foods. However, this is not a religious requirement and entering the temple during the mourning period is not forbidden. Read digital editions of Vanitha, Weekly and more Last Updated Wednesday November 25 2020 03:54 PM IST. Though etiquette is slowly changing, custom has usually dictated that those attending a visitation or funeral should wear semi-formal clothing. If youre not familiar with these Hindu funeral customs, you may also see a lot of food and drink. Below, well use this concept in offering messages for the loss of a child. Medicine is not an exact science, and the human body is not a machine that has replaceable parts or even an instruction manual. It is better to dress conservatively. On behalf of this community, I would like to offer our heartfelt condolences and prayers to your entire family. I understand that not only did your friend mean a great deal to you, but also that Keyur was well-loved by his family and community. Some friends have the knack for hitting all the right notes and saying all of the right things. In Hinduism, theres samsarathe continuous cycle of reincarnation. In the United States, cremation needs to be performed only by a licensed crematory. Medical decision making is among the most complex tasks known to man; and not all decisions lead to a positive outcome, although taken in good faith. It is eternal, all-pervading, changeless, immovable, and primeval. (Extra chairs can be made available for the elderly.) On behalf of my family, I want to say how sorry we are for your loss. During the ceremony, non-Hindus can sit quietly. "Mukhagni" or a cremation ceremony. There are no set customs prohibiting working during the period of mourning, so returning to work is often an individual decision. For instance, if the family head shows or voices no grief, the guests will respond similarly. Visitors are also welcome during this period. Though the above list is handy, we need to be extraordinarily perceptive and must have the ability to adapt according to the mood and vibe prevailing in each instance. Brief words like I am sorry for your loss or You are in our thoughts and prayers are both meaningful and comforting. There may be a request to turn the patients bed so their head faces east or for the patient to be allowed to lie on the floor in the moments before death (so that they are close to mother earth and their soul can depart easily). It's best to stick with their request at such a sensitive time. The length of the mourning period in Korea is largely dependent on the individual and is traditionally for 100 days. Give items to use or display in the home in remembrance of the loved one. Surinder taught his children to live with intent and to be good ancestors. It is also appropriate in Hindu tradition to send sympathy gifts. May he rest in peace. When someone experiences the loss of a loved one, visiting the bereaved in person is a thoughtful way to convey the deepest sympathy and offer support. 24/7 +65 9135 4444 Dismiss. As a general rule, the closer your relationship to the bereaved, the sooner you should contact him or her. Ask for his/her input and a checklist of what needs to be decided and completed. JavaScript is disabled. Here are some thoughts and guidelines when considering a personal visit at the funeral home: Upon arrival, go to the family and express a simple condolence. I understand that cerain days like Fridays and Saturdays are avoided for such visits. Find out what to do and discover resources to help you cope. Those people are greatly missed as they create such a hole for those they leave behind. If they are in hospital, it is helpful to inform the chaplain about their spiritual needs (with the patients permission). For the family, the trauma of having to retell the story over and over can be horrific. Certain Hindus may choose to remain at home during the mourning period and not visit the temple. Cremation rituals may vary in different places. Visitations are usually held one or two days prior to the funeral service during a fixed set of hours. It is appropriate to visit the home of the family as anexpression of comfort and support. He was a good banker but wouldnt part with a dime if you ever asked him, Then there are a few whose sole purpose of visit seems to be to estimate how grief-stricken the family is. The family should be consulted about any jewellery and religious symbols that need to be left in place. Not only is it unnecessary to bring flowers to the service, but you are expected not to bring them. It is not uncommon to hear one person pass a negative remark about the deceased persons character, soon to be joined by other likeminded people who fuel the conversation into a full-fledged debate. With this in mind, here are a few ideas for what to write in a sympathy note after losing a friend. Hindus generally prefer cremation over burial and the funeral usually takes place as soon as possible after death. It also conveys an understanding that while there is a cycle to life, there is only one reality. While it can be difficult to know just what to say to someone who has experienced a death, many people who have experienced a death appreciate being contacted. Where would it be held? Passing such a negative remark is easy, just like watching cricket on TV and blaming a fielder for dropping a crucial catch the person criticising has no idea how hard it is to be out there performing. In general, it is never inappropriate to dress in a way that reflects respect and sorrow for the somber moments of mourning a loss. 24 hours after the death, the body is taken to the cremation site. Memorial Day for Divorced Parents. You are using an out of date browser. The bereaved person could be venting out emotions and if we simply give them our ears, it will be comforting. Because of the short cremation time, there is no requirement for embalming. It is believed that free expression will keep the body healthy, instead of bound by mourning and unresolved anger. Think of some light, special stories about your friend. The gesture must be in line with the persons proximity to the family, and the familys own cultural preferences. It is a common slip-up for people to assume that sharing their own religious beliefs would bring solace to the bereaved family. A Hindu priest is an officiant, who presides over all Hindu funeral rites. After bereavement, a person goes through denial, anger, bargaining, depressionand finally acceptancethese stages take time. It is not slain when the body is slain. Bhagavad Gita 2.20. Have a shortened version ready in case you find yourself breaking down. Need Immediate Service? There will be things to be done at the home, such as taking care of guests or handling phone calls. He seemed fine when I saw him last week! Did you check her cholesterol? What did the first ECG show? Was he wearing a helmet? When was her last chemo? are but a few examples of such unwarranted questions. Beliefnet is a lifestyle website providing feature editorial content around the topics of inspiration, spirituality, health, wellness, love and family, news and entertainment. Certain rituals occur in the final moments, including: What should health and care professionals bear in mind? They'll surely understand. Generally, one can expect to listen to mantras being chanted around the deceaseds body at a house funeral. Drop her a note periodically, or even an e-mail, to let her know you're thinking of her. Though a useful principle to follow universally, it is most handy while visiting the bereaved. It also conveys an understanding that while there is a cycle to life, there is only one reality. If you are a close friend or relative: Call or text immediately, find a time to visit the bereaved at home, and continue to stay in touch on a daily basis. In all branches of Hinduism, family plays a key role in helping their loved one prepare for their death and rebirth. In this sect of Hinduism, theres no food or drink offered to the family for up to 10 days. The Spirit is not destroyed when the body is destroyed. The time there can be brief and quiet. The wake is usually reserved just for family members. The funeral home will have chairs for the family graveside on the day of the funeral.
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