Or are they just lame? You know that? Can you believe that? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Was I ever! [Steve comes out of the freezer at Rachel's Place shivering]. Waldo put today's date on the flyer. And OOHHH, and him! Laura: Sure. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Waldo come to the Witness Stand. Steve Urkel: Calm down? Stefan Urkelle: Go home, go home, GO HOME! Carl: You know, bowling was a great idea. Harriette Winslow: What a miserable evening. Look, Steve. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Chuck is twice the man Raoul is. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [driving off] Would you relax, Steve? Third, if you touch me at any time, the "non-date" is over. Let me tell you something though Weasel. I can't even tell her it won't ever happen again! Steve Urkel: Yes! Rodney Beckett: I'm Rodney, but my friends call me Rod-meister. Rachel Crawford: Thanks Steve. We've got cheerleaders taller than him. . I was not abrasive. Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, but only for one month. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Ok dad. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's that? Harriette: Judy, finish your Brussels sprouts. I know how you feel about Laura. Harriette Winslow: Now here's something I didn't know. Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. I love my Army. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Listen, Melissa may not be a cover girl. You're taking me out for dinner at Chez Josephine's. Doo da doo da. I can't! It's not fair. And, he's got something that he didn't have before. Harriette Winslow: Abrasive? You trifled with my emotions! What bright side, Weasel? Harriette Winslow: Carl I am not a weak, wimpy woman whose afraida to speak her mind. So go ahead, FIRE ME! "I have a pen, you have a phone number. Steve Urkel: I've never tried out for athletics before and the equipment list says that every guy should wear a cup. All the pins look like Laura! From 1989 to 1998 (via IMDb ), White . Steve Urkel: Well, actually, this is Eddie's story. I love this lady [Laura] and I can come over here anytime I want to and you can't stop me! [He leaves and minutes later Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his accordion]. [Pulls him into a hug]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Would you shut your filthy mouth! Boyd Higgins: Name's Boyd Higgins, but ym friends call me Buck! The wind has chapped my lips. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [laughing] Good one, Myrtle! He's a very large man who should be here any minute now. I'm cooking breakfast. Steve Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Laura: By being born first. Carl Otis Winslow: [More excitedly] Yes, ma'am! The people that did this to us are teaching the same GARBAGE to their kids. He acts like a gangster, gangsters hate cops. Steve Urkel: And I'm Steve Urkel! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Make one, then Xerox It! Carl: Rachel, Carl was my great grandfather's name and there is no way that I'm gonna change it. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [nervous laughter] Great Wedding, huh dad. Laura: Urkel, don't your parents feed you? That's all. Steve Urkel: Can I have a glass of milk to go with my face? 11 days ago. Steve Urkel: Swell, Punch! Steven Quincy Urkel is a fictional character on the American ABC/CBS sitcom Family Matters, portrayed by Jaleel White. Carl Otis Winslow: Well guess what Harriet, it's not empty. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I was steamed, I didn't want to do something I'll regret. Did you see them work on Dora Fenswick? The only reason I asked you to be my partner was because I was worried about my grade. Harriette Winslow: Now let me get this straight. Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room. Laura: Steve, you like this kind of music? Now I know, I'm not worthy of you- but I love you more now then I did then- Laura Lee Winslow- will you marry me? I'm sorry, call you next week? Steve Urkel: Well, look at his poor, pathetic face. You see, I use verbs. I mean, I'm a fast runner, Eddie, but sooner or later, you just gotta stop running. Raoul asked me out, but I told him that I was happily married. Curtis: I don't know how to tell you this, but I have to tell you straight out. Steve Urkel: Oh, no buts! No more chimes. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: All the way home, and the next day I cried all the way back to the library. Myra Monkhouse: I rearranged the chamber. Harriette Winslow: You most certainly do. It's to another restaurant. What are you doing with these bells? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well of course it's a Greek party, it's a sorority! Not name your state. "Clean up your room, Edward." Carl Otis Winslow: Hey sweetheart, how about some pie? Rise! Now, I may have taken a sip of my mom's coffee, but I Chain: I'm talkin' about the other kind of wired! 1. You may be my boss, but that does not give you the right to come into my home and be obnoxious to my husband and his friends. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Easy Eddo. Carl Otis Winslow: That a girl, Harriette. Did I do that? Have you taken leave of your senses? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: March 10, Went to the market. Steve Urkel: [collecting] Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Steve Urkel: No, I don't like to disturb anyone. Harriette Winslow: Oh lord. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [not knowing Steve and Laura saw each other naked] All right, chicken. Carl: Rachel, you're putting entirely too much filling in those. Why, a few sessions on the Muscle Master and you'll be drooling over my deltoids. Carl: Uh, just bring us burgers and fries. Laura Lee Winslow: How fast are we going now? [Runs with Steve to confront Waldo and Weasel], [Eddie tries to flirt with a cute girl, unaware that Carl is behind him]. Can you carry me home? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl and his father planned on doing a lot of things together, but they never got the chance. They help move along our sentences. In the current social climate that is rich with dialogue about appropriate consent between men and women, women are quite reasonably, on guard about objectification. Steve Urkel: Oh yeah, just last week, she actually telephoned me in the middle of the night. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Opens Diary] January 1, We had a wonderful New Years Eve party, except Carl got sick and threw up in the living room. Steve Urkel: No, I AM a serious little nerd. Steve Urkel: Uh-oh. And him. Maxine Johnson: Yeah and poor you, you gonna miss your prom. It's not funny, it's dangerous. Harriette: [sobbing] Clint is driving off and Meryl will never see him again! Sheldon is rude, vain, obnoxious, and one-dimensional. "Tomorrow, Dad!" The rest of the rules are covered in this contract. Carl Otis Winslow: I know. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I call Waldo Faldo up. I kept quiet last week and I haven't say anything tonight. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, stupid means good. Robber: [holding up the convenience store where Carl, Steve, and Urkelbot are undercover, threatening Carl with a gun] You! Stefan Urkelle: Where did you learn all that? Chocum hi chip chok!". And there is nothing you can do to ever change my mind. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: That's what I said, but Dad still said no. Harriette Winslow: [retrieves a coupon from her purse] Ohhh no no no, Carl! Steve Urkel: Oh, Gosh golly, Jeepers Creepers. Lt. Murtaugh: No, because I brought him back. Steve Urkel: Oh, I'd better lock it then! But Waldo messed up and put the wrong date on the flyers. Eddie, your father left you three messages for you and you never called him back. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: He must've been dangerous. Harriette Winslow: Carl, you snuck into my card box and gave me a card that I already have. That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! Steve Urkel: I'll settle for a toenail clipping! No. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yeah, you have to use bleach. Getting you to smile would be like pulling teeth! Laura Lee Winslow: One of them is my best friend. Well, that's gonna stop right now! What did you do? [puts his thumb as his mouth, baby voice] If I were five. often referred to simply by his surname, Urkel, is the main protagonist of Family Matters. Cop: You two are going to juvenile hall until your parents pick you up. Ouchith! A bee to a blossom. We're having big fun here. I'm being born! Steve Urkel: Practice. Let's just hope we can rub off on him before he rubs off on 3J. But, like they say in the movie "Love Story" 'Love means never having to say I'm sorry Steve, but I'm takin' yo chick'. Steve Urkel: This page is in Korean. 6. Steve Urkel: What? Laura: You know, I just don't get why people are so afraid of our history. Judy Winslow: Who wants to read about cheese? College Problems Student Problems Judy Winslow: Mom, when's dinner? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Dad, cash is so impersonal. Where did you get the money for this? This wire will be connected to this cord and this cord is not plugged in. Like a moth to a flame. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I'm flat broke, dad. Laura Lee Winslow: I'm not sure what day is this? Cassie Lynn: That may be what happened, but that won't be what the people believe. Harriette Winslow: I am not! Waldo: Sure you have. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: That's big talk coming from a guy in Italy. You are under arrest! When I was born when the doctor slapped me, I SHOT him! Willie Fuffner: Because, he humiliated me! Steve Urkel: Oh, pasha, you're making me blush again. Eddie: I'm sorry, Steve. Steve Urkel: So, you used me! Waldo: [after thinking a moment] Ok. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Oh, no buts! Carl: I don't have to take this, I'm going home! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Failure to signal. Eddie: I just did the laundry and I'm on my way out to wash the car and cut the grass. You've got twenty-four hours to drop out of the race or we publish the picture. What about it, Steve. You need to get out more. Rachel Crawford: Good. Does that about cover it? Harriette Winslow: She's still pretty upset, she wouldn't even touch her dinner. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: How did she die? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, no thanks, I went before I left. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Big Guy, what are you up? Laura Lee Winslow: No! Carl Otis Winslow: Tomorrow. Why, you might as well drop a boulder on my foot, shove bamboo shoots under my fingernails, or scoop my eyeballs out with a melon baler. Carl: Son, I am no neophyte when it comes to electronics. Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character.
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